Will He Dance? Chapter Five



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51 Responses to Will He Dance? Chapter Five

  1. Squirrels says:

    To find chapter one, please go to July archives.

  2. Wall St Lady says:

    Wow Wow & double Wow. This is my fav ch so far.
    I feel like I shouldn’t have but when u used the word describing Kara’s dentist experience head lock I laughed & imagined the strength required. I was sick to hear of the divorce as it seemed u were really a united team & u loved Steven but u did choose Tad & I would have too.
    I was delighted & surprised to hear u r a gymnist. One of my god children was a US contender in HS for the Olympics. Her growth was stunted & she is now cheer leading at a University. It is a grueling sport requiring unbelievable discipline. So it makes sense why u have so much determination in ur personal life.
    There is a we missing early in the chapter

    unfortunately, ? ? allowed the professional team to take charge. Bad move on our part.

    The story of ur dad needs a greater explanation. Its like offering ice cream & then forgetting to give it (sorry if that’s a stupid comparison about a serious event. But u get my point.
    Last I think the Tad thru Kara’s eyes should be a separate ch. It is so beautiful & touching ! I could see ur NYT Review saying “Even if U only read Ch. 5 the book is a must read !”

  3. Not that crazy says:

    Hi Squirrels,

    Yet another great chapter. I laughed, I cried, and I am amazed. The human spirit never ceases to amaze me. People tell me how strong I am but in reality I’m not strong, I just do what has to be done and cry when no one is looking. I would bet you do the same.

    Patiently awating chapter 6.

    • Squirrels says:

      Yep. Pegged me precisely. I suppose why this has been cathartic. I get to relive it, cry one more time and then put it to bed. That’s the goal anyway.

      • Not that crazy says:

        My great grandparents immigrated in the late 1800’s being the curious type I wanted to know “who, what, where, when and why”. There must be some deep dark secrets in the family tree because no one seemed to know anything. I’ve always hoped for a long lost death bed confession but none ever appeared. I know that any revelation will not change my life but sometimes you wonder what their life was like. How did they leave their family and come to the US, how did they live through the depression, what did they do when one of their babies died?

        Your family and future generations will know you on a much deeper level and appreciate your efforts. So keep up the good work.

      • Squirrels says:

        I’m lucky. Our family tree, with a few argued discrepancies, is well documented through verbal story telling. That said —- Crap… I wasn’t anticipating getting old and ending up a full branch v. twig on the family tree…. ever!!! Guess I may as well cancel that Botox session, LOL.


  4. OK-now you did it. You made me cry. That may be my favorite chapter so far, even though you went through some tuff things, I love the sweet ending.

    • Squirrels says:

      I’m going to get a complex soon. I’m not trying to make anyone cry. I’m trying to make it as light as possible, given the circumstances. If I get published, I’m thinking my author’s image should include a clown nose!!!!


      • Not that crazy says:

        Sorry for the complex. You have already lived the story but it is all new to us. By the way, I can cry at the drop of a hat so you shouldn’t take me too seriously.
        I was raised with boys so I have a warped sense of humor. Please, no clown nose. You’ll just look like you were on a bender the night before. You seem to be the smart and sassy type. Groucho Marx glasses and a cigar?

  5. boston02127 says:

    Great chapter, you write so well, I want the story to keep going and going. You’re a brave woman and I love reading about your life and family. Can’t wait for the next chapter. Thanks for sharing.

    • Squirrels says:

      TY sweetie, but I’m not sure bravery had anything to do with it. I think I fall more in the category “Not that crazy” mentioned. Of course, I do admit as soon as I was told “Um. sorry, no, you can’t do that, because we run the budget, ergo hold all the cards???” My response, once I decided it was worth going to battle, was always… Oh really? Just you watch me! Proportional thinking when making decisions counts for 90% of any win column.

  6. zoekayla says:

    Squirrels, thanks for the map to chapter one…I was wondering if it was included in the prologue. I was anxious to read about your experiences with the public school system. You really did your son a tremendous favor by relocating to NM. I am sad to say that not all schools, ISDs, or states are as enlightened as the ones you found. An IEP is a delicate instrument subject to the skills of the builders and the implementers. You took the necessary role of becoming the expert in the room as to your son, and worked hard to let the other experts weigh in. However, you filtered their assessments through the seive of your own knowledge and experiences with Tad..to his, and their, benefit.
    On the other hand, your writing is also intensly personal and emotional without becoming whiny or angry (as it easily could). That is a real skill and a hallmark of a true author. I am enjoying reading Tad’s, Kara’s and your stories while at the same time learning about life with DS. It is indeed an eyeopening experience for me, despite my own life experiences and the professional knowledge I have acquired through the years. As a teacher and later as an administrator, I have participated in ARDs where IEPs were discussed and adapted. In another role, as a bilingual educator, I was also tasked with translating this information and the various legal assurances to parents who were navigating their child’s disability in a foreign language. My heart went out to these parents in particular, and I always made it a point to stop several times in the process to ask if they understood what we were saying, or if I could support them with a fuller explanation – all this without breaking the rules for how the process is conducted.
    Keep writing (and crying if you need to…) but know that your work is helping and healing others.

    • Squirrels says:

      Thanks zoekayla. So much to answer re: your post. At this point, I’ll just say, I’m glad you have a good grasp on the system – Incredibly valuable for you to pass on. My experiences with banging heads in the SPED system are not over yet. They are revisited later on.

  7. anniieee says:

    You made me cry, laugh and thank God for wonderful people like you in this world. I am so sorry about your divorce–that is a hard one, I did it myself as well. You made the right choice…Tad. It is a beautiful story about life and I am richer for reading it. I told you earlier about my girlfriend’s daughter Jenn…because of her, my oldest (Jenn’s age 32) volunteers on Monday nights, teaching Art to young adults with disabilities. She brings my granddaughter (7) to help. At 7, she is so wise–she was chosen to be in the “small” class at her elementary school. There are 15 students. Half with disabilities and half with empathy and understanding. I have popped over and was thrilled to see the level of excitement, learning and sharing going on. Wish it would be like that at the High School where I teach. My class–it seems to be the room that administrators ask “where can we put the IEP students for an hour and a half. ” It works for me–because they are so creative and so willing to stretch without fear of someone making fun of them for thinking and learning in a different way. A lot of the time, I am surprised to find out one of my best art student’s is learning disabled. They certainly aren’t in my room. We have a long way to go in Florida for children with special needs. Glad you found New Mexico. Thank you so much for sharing–I am looking forward to the next installment. I am so glad I found RealcityHousewife’s blog. I missed you!!

  8. anniieee says:

    This is the place where my daughter volunteers…


    • Squirrels says:

      Sounds like a fantastic place anniieee. There are so many 501(c)3’s out there that are of superior quality and it always seems to revolve around the volunteers who share their time and tremendous patience to help in any capacity. Working with people with disabilities, most often the reward is in witnessing a small milestone or a smile.

      Volunteers of this country such as your daughter cannot be thanked enough. I hope she realizes how valuable she is. I thank you so much for sharing.

      • anniieee says:

        I would be there too, however, for the past 4 years I have been taking care of my mom…it has been a joy and a pleasure–but leaves me with little time. I want to thank YOU for sharing your story and we are all waiting for the next installment!

  9. Kat says:

    I really like this book. Every chapter builds on the last and the story reels me in and leaves me wanting to read more.
    You are a fascinating story. You were in the Coast Guard, you are a sailor, a photographer, a gymnist, an author, and you were once a black jack dealer? Your hat rack is full… yet I’d wager you will add to it if and when you please.

  10. Not that crazy says:

    Keep the botox session….you will be the best preserved limb on the tree!!

  11. Dani says:

    Squirrels I know I say this every time a read a new chapter, however, I do think this is my favorite so far. I cried, I laughed, I cheered you on and then I cried again. This is a wonderful book and I feel so very blessed to have found you and your beautiful family to read about. Thank you, I will be waiting for the next chapter.

  12. Kat says:

    Just popping in to see if you’ve added another chapter. Oh yeah, and to Poke you. 😉

  13. tuzentswurth says:

    Squirrels, I have finally read what you have of “Will He Dance?” so far. I have to tell you that I started reading Ch 1 some time ago, but this is a powerfully written book and I was too emotionally fragile at that moment, so I put it away for awhile. I revisited it now and I’m glad I had 5 chapters to fly through without waiting. You have a gift in relating your feelings that absolutely takes me there, I truly felt the pain of your hospital nightmare. You have an amazing story to tell and it has moved me to tears of empathy for you as I see it has done to others too. I also feel the joy and love that you have and I admire your strength and character. I really look forward to the next chapters and hope this book enjoys a well deserved success. I would certainly buy it and hope it contains loads of pictures. This is also a beautiful and loving gift for your children.
    This book is easy to relate to, your financial struggles, and I think every mother has had a nightmare experience such as you described when Kara injured her mouth. Please keep writing and I wish the best for this labor of love.
    BTW, when I was a young girl, maybe 12 or so, I read a small but powerful book by Dale Evans Rogers (yes Roy’s wife) entitled “Angel Unaware”. It is the story of a DS girl they adopted as a baby and how she enriched their lives, though I think she only lived 3 years. I don’t remember a lot of specifics b/c that was many,many, many years ago 🙂 but I do remember that the book enlightened me and changed me. I don’t know if it is still available. Thank you so much for sharing this! xoxoxo

    • tuzentswurth says:

      On second thought, I don’t think this was one of their adopted children, rather their own biological child.

      • Squirrels says:

        I had no idea. Back then most kids with disabilities were kept under wraps it seems.

      • tuzentswurth says:

        I looked on Amazon and that book IS still available. Exactly, this was their bio dau, and they were told to institutionalize her but refused. Their book was a landmark eye opener in many ways at that time. I must find that or I may buy it again.
        I can’t wait till you share more of your story, you are an inspiration……and a REAL housewife like the people I know.;)

  14. Sardonica says:

    Hi Squirrel! I fell into this blog for the RCH one. I wish you had an e mail to send to but no such luck so a long post. I clicked on your name and when I saw the subject I thought,” oh no, I am not in the mood for a sad story right now.” I started it anyway and was immediately hooked. This shows me you can write since I am a bookworm and often feel I have read it all. Difficult to grab me right in to the story. The other surprise was it isn’t a sad story, not sad at all! While it is painful to read at times I am amazed how you turned what I always assumed would be one of the saddest things to happen to a family into a story of joy and how your writing has the ability to make me look at this type of situation in a whole new way. Ya got some o’ dat thing called talent, Squirrel!This is a blessing. I want this to become a book. I want to read this book and more importantly I want families who are in your situation with a child to read this book and find out all is not lost, in fact nothing is lost but much can be gained. There is plenty of joy to be found. It is all in how you approach it. I have admiration for you but I don’t feel sorry for you. You have been mightily blessed with Tad and with the talent needed to show others how the diagnosis wasn’t the end of the world, only the beginning of a different type of world where the unexpected twist is becoming the unexpected delight of a lifetime. Great work and good luck on continuing this work. You can write and have changed my outlook on a situation such as yours. I celebrate you. I celebrate your family. God bless…Sardonica

  15. Dani says:

    Just checking in Squirrels to see if the next chapter has been written. I hope all is well with you and we will soon be reading chapter six.

  16. Wall St Lady says:

    Hi Bump
    It seams like daily someone asks “where is squirrels”
    Had enough left over a dust up too. 7 people have figured out who I am. Since I have a Company site w/all my bio & address I am only flattered anyone cared enough to find me. Lynn has put up a picture board & many pictures of LynnFam r up.
    There has not been I disability slur since u jumped off. U r sooooo
    Missed !
    w/nuts on top
    Jump Back !
    Hugs & more Hugs

  17. anniieee says:

    I jumped off…too…. I hate ignorance… it can be fixed..but they don’t want to. Miss your insights. I will have to keep checking here and RCH… Miss and care…Annie

  18. anniieee says:

    Still lurk on Lynn’s blog and saw that you were going to do a PSA. How wonderful and I can’t wait to see it. You have so much to give and so much empathy for so many people, it will be amazing!

    Seems like lots of misunderstandings have been going on-on the other blog. I may have inadvertently jumped in at the wrong place without understanding–but then people can get ugly and we miss intonations, etc…gets crazy–so I will lurk. Glad to see you back there with your wonderful words.

    Take good care— ((((Hugs)))) xox


    • Squirrels says:

      You are very kind; Thank you. From here on out, I’ll just be writing. Hope to finish in 3 mos. Hope being the operative word. Thank you all for your encouragement and support. Most importantly your criticisms have made me a better writer (I think-we’ll see).


  19. Wall St Lady says:

    I met ur friend Lisa. Bobby never herd of Lisa so I gave him Lisa’s # 508 446 4614

  20. Hon I just wanted to let you know that I saw whats been going-on in bloggy-world, and I am extremely offended by the way that you have been treated.
    I’m offended by how I was treated too!…and other people.
    But I’m disgusted by what they did to you specifically.
    And I’m impressed with you for speaking-out about what you had on your mind even though anyone who doesn’t toe the party-line gets a beat-down.
    SQUIRRELS-you remind me of the people in the movie Stepford Wives, and Invasion of the Body Snatchers who are the only ones who know whats going-on, and you try to help people by telling them, but everyone acts like you are the weird one.
    Well-not everybody–in my opinion it is really only one or maybe two people with many different names posting replies to him/or herself.
    For whatever reason, I cannot seem to post on certain other blogs right now.
    Kind-of ironic when that was the reason why I liked that and the other one, because they were not like Bravo-blogs & TWOP where you bother posting a message only to see it disappear.
    The only good thing is that I found your blog again.
    Maybe I’ll be back to chat about the HW, or whatever?
    From what I can tell the people who are the deputy t-patrol have ruined what used to be a good thing.
    They make accusations, and say hateful things, and they get away with it because they say that they are protecting the blogs from what they really are.
    The stupidity of it astounds me.
    Squirrels—please don’t let it get to you.
    I hope you know that you are so much better than that.
    Feel free to shoot me an email.

  21. Anniieee says:

    Squirrels, I really miss listening to your insight… Left in late Sept–early Oct…too many calling names…became some sort of a cult if you didnt toe the lynnfam line. Lots of liars and posers started getting on there. Read all the WSL stuff last night..wow what a manipulater–but where are you… how can I read your responses… You and RileyKitty seemed to be the only honest, good, no strings attached REAL life people. Here is my email… this one I just used once to try to shut someone up..and then i chickened out 🙂 anniieee1@gmail.com miss you… hope to see you out in cyperspace soon. Hug that incredible son for me. And Rileykitty seemed to have fallen out into hyperspace. miss miss miss you!!!

  22. Test says:

    testing, testing, testing

  23. oh4foksake says:

    and once again testing

  24. oh4foksake says:


  25. oh4foksake says:


  26. whoever says:

    test #3

  27. whoever says:

    test #4

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